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Designing Your Own Life

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What if I told you you can design your own life? What if I told you you have been designing your own life and are continuing to do so right at this precise moment? Without sounding too much like my homie Morpheus, let me explain.

 

I was sitting at our dinner table across from my wife. Our newborn daughter is peacefully sleeping in her bassinet. With a serious face I popped the question to her. “Would you rather have $1000 a week for the rest of your life or would you have our little Mabel?” Without hesitation she said Mabel. “Well, my dear, we just won Better-Than-Lottery!” We are luckier than the winner of Cash For Life Lottery! It’s about framing.

Some time ago circumstances enticed us to travel a long distance with our newborn. Most of our family and friends thought we were crazy to even consider the journey. With some babies, going to the grocery store is a challenge, let alone going for 12 hour long car rides day after day. We had no idea how our baby was going to behave, but we were curious, so why not try?

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About seven years ago I hit a wall in my career. I was earning six figure income and was about to pay off my house in five years. But I was not happy. Something was missing in my life and I knew it. I could have chosen to stay. I could have said to myself wait till the house is paid off; wait till my kid is grown; wait till my pension is sizeable; wait till retirement; wait, wait, wait… But a little voice incited me to act.

Just the other day my elementary school friend saw a picture of me working on my film at my home studio while our daughter is sleeping on my lap. He commented: “You are SO lucky.” It occured to me that “Luck” actually had nothing to do with it. My life today started one particular day nine years ago. That day, sitting in my cubicle I peeked over to my boss’s corner office, a miserable mid-aged man driving a beige sedan, never smiles, never says thank you, always grumpy. “Do I want to be that man in ten years?” I asked myself. NO! That’s when I became aware.

Six years ago I hit another wall. My film was nearing completion when it was stolen. I could have given up and consoled myself or drowned my sorrows. Or I could remake it. But I could not do it alone. I invited all the people I needed help from into one room and said: “I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is our film is lost forever. The good news is WE are still here.” They became my collaborators to success. Read about it in my previous post

Long story short. I did quit my job; I did goto film school; We did remake the lost film and we did take our newborn on an epic family trip halfway across the continent.

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On one of those crazy driving days, after crossing five state lines baby Mabel started to cry. I parked the car on the side of the desert highway. My wife sat in the backseat and breastfed. A full moon was rising on a pink and bluish gray horizon. Everything was quiet except for the occasional passing vehicle and the sound of Mabel snorting milk. Near the roadside fence something stirred. An American Pronghorn was grazing near us. It walked slowly along the fence stopping now and again to smell and nibble. Peacefully and nonchalantly the silhouette of its slender body melted into the night that enveloped us like a woven blanket. The desert returned the last of its heat from the sun and became still once again, as if the pronghorn was never there, as if we were not there.

Life is not a solid object but a precious experience. We choose what kind of experience we are going to have by designing it every single day. We do this whether we know it or not. Curiosity, Bias on Action, Reframing, Awareness and Radical Collaboration are the five essential elements for designing your life. Check out this new way of thinking at: https://designingyour.life/

What if I told you you can design your own life, consciously this time? Would you?

 

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